names: honeydew ~ mouse ~ button ~ piccadilly ~ whistler ~ miette ~ pip ~ wifey (if you are my wife) ~ dog (if you are lucky) ~

age: 20 something

pronouns:they/them or whatever i feel like

this side is for site updates ^w^ think less "changelog" and more "oh right this happened"

5/24/24 (friday) | i found the draft i made when i first discovered neocities a year or two ago.

3/17/2024 (sunday) | i made a collage of the failed banners!! im pleased to have them existing on this site somewhere but woof. that's a Lot of work over the months that i just,, didn't really do anything with? yes i practiced and yes i got to draw things i like but i simply want to find a way to repurpose them, or remake them, or rebirth them some other way. i really liked these drawings!

that's literally me!
for some reason or another, i identify strongly with this character/this pairing~ thank you in advance for not judging (or judging quietly, the polite way to do it)

❤

sweet stuff (my little pony)
this darling is a g1 pony from both the visual media and the dolls, and she's my favorite pony ever! she's sweet and caring, and loves to laugh. she's a bit passive, but she knows that and works to manage balancing her own feelings with others'. she reminds me of being hardened by life, but choosing to be kind and see things whimsically anyway.

❤

wind whistler (my little pony)
my autistic queen! the way she speaks enchanted me as a kid—she speaks like she knows what she's talking about, she emotes in reserved ways, she laughs loudly. im obsessed with her!

❤

c.c. (code geass)
my wife's favorite foundational anime~ c.c. is an immortal witch, as she sees it, cursed to live as a tool. my wife's favorite foundational anime~ c.c. is an immortal witch, as she sees it. before her immortality, she made a contract. her geass was "to be loved," but its power grew beyond her control as a geass does, and the affection she recieved turned violent and desperate, and c.c. claims she grew bored. the nun who gave her the geass injures her, and offers (forces) an end to her life as she knows it—the nun tranfers immoratality to c.c., who loses her "loved" geass, but becomes immortal with the ability to make contracts.
*takes a breath*
the way i see it, she is a girl who was given a cruel gift and a worse one after, gifts that shaped her life and deaths, but more importantly, she's a girl that learns she likes poking fun at her friends and eating cheese pizza. she's a girl that has experienced, at length, the depth of suicidal despair, and is relearning how to enjoy her life.

❤

madoka kaname & homura akemi (puella magi madoka magica)
im like if madohomu had a baby! no but seriously, madoka and homura are everything to me. i cannot describe them here, that must be in the shrine i make them.

❤❤
❤
jake english & dirk strider (homestuck)
again, like if these two dysfunctional fucks merged into one being. (this one is also too intense for me to describe here, and a shrine for them is on the list)

❤
nona (nona the ninth)
(starts crying before i can say anything)

this side is for rambling and ranting, musings and mischiefs. obviously, read at your own risk.

endish of may 2025 | lol. i came here to write about the disability rambles and general frustration with my lack of ability currently and i did last month apparently?? word okay. well. additionally i hate that my migraines make me less able to play around on the computer/internet at large :(( i wanna improve my coding i wanna make friends!!! but the screen is my enemy and hurts me very badly and i throw up for days if im not careful :P
this is. not related. but the way humans grieve together is very loving, i think.

undated april musing 2025 | i think when it comes down to it im really quite tired of being tired, unsurprisingly. i miss when i could run, and climb, and give a high-five without my hand hurting. id finally begun to wrap my head around my various mental ailments (hoo booy, by the way) and then my body started failing and THEN the first wave of the covid pandemic hit and disabled me quite a bit further than what was already developing, and and and and.
over the course of almost five years ive barely started to understand my physical limits, and ive learned a lot more about accesibility and disability advocacy, but a lot of days im struck by the mourning of the self i used to be, the things i used to be able to do.

undated april musing 2025 | sometimes we smoke with the tiny tiny pipe we got when we first started smoking flower and. this thing is so fucking small... little baby bowl... petite pipe... itty bitty hitty... like curl your pointer into the webby gap between your thumb and pointer? the bowl is 1/4th of that size (approximately, lol). it also really likes to roll around and spill the dainty tiny little bowl you just painstakingly packed into the fucker